Wednesday, March 31, 2004

so, it's 31st March already and i've come close to leave the title as a college student. not that i feel sorry or sad or nethin...just that i know how much fun it is to have study in that have called a student. that sort of fun when u always complained bout that tons of assignments and project that had to be ready at the end of the week....and all.

i luv being a student.
i really help me to learn a lot about the world. to help me learn bout wat is friendship for and to help me find wat i'm lukin for..i'm gonna continue my study though...but like i said, the next intake is only on march next, got to do sumthin in between.


lately, i feel a bit sad, gloomy feeling i might say, weak gestures, sympathy luk and all...i would just sit on my bed and stare at the naked wall for sumtime and cry for nuthin maybe thinkin that my life is not as perfect as sumone out there. this feeling come and go...i used to feel it frequently last time..but i dun do prozac like sum might have done it...i jes let the feeling conquere myself. i'm not depress, am i? and i keep on listening to those damn melancholy songs. i can't help it.

at times i jes wanna sleep. i used to sleep for a long time and had this wonderful dreams...and when i woke up..the wonderful dreams gone...then, i try to get my head on my pillow and try to close my eyes as tightly as i can but the sounds from the outside world wouldn't allow me. when night came, i turn of the light and i try to hum a beautiful melody which god-knows-where it came from...and i did sleep...and i dreamt about that wonderful dreams again...

i dunno..maybe it's jes me. my body is tired and my feeling is bruising from watever it had to confront before. i'm clueless and i need times and i want to find things in my life...i jes need times...i dun wanna feel sad...i wanna be happy like you.

i want what i want.

Monday, March 29, 2004

Hoobastank:The Reason
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

Friday, March 26, 2004

one week more...
and i'm leaving the office :)
i'm leaving the title as a college student :(
and i'm leaving the college *unsure*
and i would be on my way to hold on a diploma in computer science :D
been planning out for things ahead...wanna continue my study in degree and do a major..hiramman said that i should continue my studies in computer stuff and mama suggest that too..

but i'm not goin to spent another 3 years or so with coding and stuff..that stuff just not meant for me.
so, i was thinkin to take creative multimedia..that's the only way for me to stay put in this so called IT, settle....but got one big problem, wat i'm gonna do in the meantime..the intake would only be next year on March, which mean i hav a year doin nuthin..
dun wanna work as a programmer...

then,this monin my problem solve again...there's an ad in the star, looking for sub-editors.
but another problem arise, the sub-editors would have to work at their HQ in peejay..mama wouldn't let me go that far..arghhh..i'm sick and tired actually,thinkin the whole thing.

maybe i can act dat i just dun care XD ...i'm gonna try to apply for the job first, see if i got it and if i do, i'm gonna rebel my way to peejay.
terrina once said,grab any chance in front of me as i'm not studyin in mass com watsoever. so, i guess this is the time..
bulk on my seat belt and here i come.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

wat am i?dense?
i've talk to man this evening n i feel a bit ok after that.

lady_capullete: woit
lady_capullete: sihat?
man: hey wassup?
man: ok
lady_capullete: i'm not gud
man: why?
lady_capullete: frustrated lah
lady_capullete: bkoz there's sumthin tak accomplish lagi
man: project?
lady_capullete: no...
lady_capullete: not bout project or watsoever
lady_capullete: jest bout this thingy...
man: that is?
lady_capullete: mmm
lady_capullete: there's this guy
lady_capullete: malu ah
lady_capullete: malas ah citer kat ko
man: oooo..guy thing ahhh...
lady_capullete: tu lah
lady_capullete: guy thing
man: nvm
lady_capullete: tu ah
lady_capullete: tadi aku nampak kete dia
lady_capullete: tadi g college
lady_capullete: namapak kete jek...ngan member dia sorang
man: n i get it
lady_capullete: i should have go at him n talk
lady_capullete: betul tak?
man: with agurl rite?
lady_capullete: i should hav done dat
lady_capullete: no...
lady_capullete: tak penah nampak dia wit a gerl
lady_capullete: plus gang dia tak hang out ngan girls kat college
man: takpe ada peluang lagi
lady_capullete: it's always them , the boys
lady_capullete: peluang amender
lady_capullete: aku nak blah dah dari college
lady_capullete: frustrated sangat
man: phone nom?email?
lady_capullete: ader..member aku tolong aku...ambikkan phone number dia..
lady_capullete: aku penah miss call dulu, pastu dia call balik...aku tak angkat
lady_capullete: stupid tak aku?
man: owh...nope...
lady_capullete: aper?
man: semua pun buat camtu...
lady_capullete: tu lah...
lady_capullete: banyak kali aper jumper dia kat college
lady_capullete: but i jest dun hav the guts
lady_capullete: n now i'm listening to my immortal wit frustration
lady_capullete: damn!
man: one of my US pal had da same prob with ya...
man: and...
lady_capullete: n?
man: last2 dia dah ok ngan guy tu...
man: with help of
man: his friend..
lady_capullete: owh?
man: take kwn2 lelaki dia yg ko rapat ke?
lady_capullete: i wish things would be easier for me
man: takde...
lady_capullete: takder
lady_capullete: diorang tu junior aku lah
man: ic ic
lady_capullete: tapi aku ader junior high skool yg satu klas wit him
lady_capullete: fadillah
lady_capullete: she's ok
lady_capullete: but i dun wanna let her know
lady_capullete: malu ah
lady_capullete: tapi i dun think fadillah rapat ngan gang mamat ni
man: ada peluang jumpa lagi tak ngan guy tu?rasa2 nya...
lady_capullete: it's like, i've been hoping n hoping that he would come n talk to me for the last few years but he didn't..n i'm just too shy
lady_capullete: i dun think so
man: use "lubna" ......n tell him..
lady_capullete: hahhahha
lady_capullete: kak lub dah tau
lady_capullete: the first one to know bout my crush,..
man: ohh..
lady_capullete: tapi kak lub nak buat aper pun, go straight to him n tell him dat i like him...not her thingy
lady_capullete: but u know wat, i do hav a fren who do dat work
lady_capullete: the other day, he got this guy for our other fren...n they did end up as a couple,,tapi dah broke lah pulak
man: ya know of my us pal told me that she love a guy on her n-borhood
lady_capullete: then?
man: but she too shy to tell him...
man: and she lost him..
man: but the interesting part is..
lady_capullete: wat?
man: the guy is josh hartnett cousin
man: really!!!
lady_capullete: get out of town!
lady_capullete: tipu lah
lady_capullete: OMG
lady_capullete: i luv joshy
lady_capullete: u know i luv him...
man: im serious la....
lady_capullete: really?
lady_capullete: biat betul
lady_capullete: biar betul
man: i can send u da story
lady_capullete: wat story?
lady_capullete: story ker?
lady_capullete: ingat kan reality
man: betol la.....
man: so..u better tell the guy...whut do u relly feel bout him
lady_capullete: ok..send me now
man: no matter whut
man: jap..
lady_capullete: ok
lady_capullete: ok for ur jap
man: lol
lady_capullete: so, u were sayin...
lady_capullete: ?
man: wait ahhh.
lady_capullete: sure
man: no matter whut
man: .u better tell the guy...whut do u relly feel bout him
lady_capullete: i can't
lady_capullete: i dun hav the guts
lady_capullete: n i'm too shy lah
man: u need to think that he is shy too...
lady_capullete: how come?
man: and he s waiting for u to make ur move
lady_capullete: well, i did make sum eye contact wit him
lady_capullete: but y can't guys do it first
lady_capullete: it's not fair
man: when it come to love ...
man: guy cant really speak out
lady_capullete: like u!
lady_capullete: :p
man: :D
man: not this time around..
lady_capullete: so, u were sayin...
man: if i find one..
man: i tell her straight
lady_capullete: ye lah tu
man: ;)
lady_capullete: so, u were sayin...
man: how about sending him a letter
lady_capullete: nah.....
lady_capullete: maybe not
lady_capullete: maybe i'm about to lose him
lady_capullete: n maybe he bout to lose me too
man: dont give up buddy...
man: dont b4 u try

lady_capullete: this friday ur dinner?
man: yup..
man: tak tau nak pakai
lady_capullete: pakai cam superman jer
man: nak beli baju.....duit dah habis..
lady_capullete: pakai cam superman jer
lady_capullete: jimat kos
man: lol
man: but ..aku kena buat persembahan
lady_capullete: persembahan amender?
man: sing......."im gonna be the next american idol"
man: she bangs ..
lady_capullete: kahkahkhakhkha
lady_capullete: she bangs like that dude
lady_capullete: sure i'm gonna laugh u off the stage
man: oh...dorang dah pi rehersal...
man: aku tak pegi2 jugak
lady_capullete: nak pegi dah ker?
man: aku tak pegi..
lady_capullete: owh...ingat kan ko nak blah dah
man: konon profesionnal
lady_capullete: ye lah...ko mimang cam tu
man: nope..b4 i give u da story
lady_capullete: kasi lah skang
man: tgh cari...
man: gonna say it again
lady_capullete: ok
lady_capullete: wat?
man: "dont giv eup...on ur guy"
lady_capullete: u know, dat phrase, did make me smile...
lady_capullete: thanx
man: ohh really?
man: terharu nya
man: :)
lady_capullete: yup

Monday, March 15, 2004

so, yesterday i had foot cramped....just bkoz i walked at the mall non stop. went out wit nanim and aira and we did those gurls thing..ya'know, the shopping thing etc. after that, my mom asked me to company her to megamall...i just can't say no. and when i got home, i was tired...the shoe that i just bought from vincci was a waste. it cost me half the usual price but i just can't seem to walk in it all day long. so, i was thinkin to sell it to anyone. anyone?

i only wore it once....yesterday, as soon as i pay for it.
*crossing fingers*
*pls,buy..i'll give gud price*
*shoe description=size 7, style:pointed shoe with a cute ribbon on top, no heels, nude color*


)(#&%($&#%($#*^)#$^*)#$*)@#&)(@#&%)&%)#@&%)#*%)#@*%)#@*%)#@*%)#@%*)$%&$(^&# (been edited for personal reason)

if my sistah ever read this, she would go knockin on my head says "why u still thinkin bout that jerk?!"
i guess this is the melancholy side of me...always holdin to the past...always thinkin that my past is all that i have. amy said that everyone has their own sad stories and i guess she's right. she's absolutely right.
nuff said.

Saturday, March 13, 2004

last day at the office for man and zita.... wish u luck guys...

Thursday, March 11, 2004

so these are sum of the pix that i've promised to post on, that i thought might luk gud on web.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

hafiz amran passed away last night. he was in icu,coma...
hit and run accident...everyone misses him so much, my sis said he was funny, always the one wit witty jokes, another fren said the one that he skipped classes with...

wen frens died, they'll be miss, they'll stay in our memories as our life has to go on.that's why there's a say said that dun take advantage on ur u might not know wen u gonna lose them. so far, i've no experience of having sumone close to me sis in the other hand had. last year, 2 of her frens of them was the one she describe as best fren. he was young, he was full of energy..he made my sis happy and he made her cried too...i used to hate him but not anymore...i regretted that i refused to get to know him as he was.
now dat he's gone, we went to his grave once in a while...sayin prayers for him and stuff.

i dunno wat i'm gonna do if i had to face such sis is a rebellious, she can be so stubborn at times..but the day arwah raimy past away, she stumbled and broke down.

look out the stars, they shining down for you

Monday, March 08, 2004

yesterday we had bday lunch...abby baked a cake and we ate lunch at klcc. haikal was even sis was there too. the cake was nice. i got bday presents...and they are cool. abby gav me this so called my style ring and bracelet and lyd gav me a pink butterfly pouch..and nisha got me flower. i had so much fun.
it was ijoy,me and lyd's bday lunch...although mine is not yet until april, well, it was perfect.
but that doesn't mean that i'm not goin to have a bday party on that day...we'll see.

so, i bought a book yesterday at kinokuniya...nineteen...a collaboration of women writer in asia. so far so gud.

the SAB carnival was ok. nanim incharge with the rumah hantu..i brought the kids along..but we only had half an hour there bkoz after that the whole family had to go to melaka for an engagement ceremony. it was boring i tell ya...

and right now i'm havin this sakit kaki and i tell ya it is so sakit one...
till then....all the best to all of u.

p/s:well, actually i wanted to put more pix but there's sumthin wrong wit geocities at the moment...
so, it'll be next time