Wednesday, March 31, 2004

so, it's 31st March already and i've come close to leave the title as a college student. not that i feel sorry or sad or nethin...just that i know how much fun it is to have study in that college...to have called a student. that sort of fun when u always complained bout that tons of assignments and project that had to be ready at the end of the week....and all.

i luv being a student.
i really do...it help me to learn a lot about the world. to help me learn bout wat is friendship for and to help me find wat i'm lukin for..i'm gonna continue my study though...but like i said, the next intake is only on march next year...so, got to do sumthin in between.

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lately, i feel a bit sad, gloomy feeling i might say, weak gestures, sympathy luk and all...i would just sit on my bed and stare at the naked wall for sumtime and cry for nuthin maybe thinkin that my life is not as perfect as sumone out there. this feeling come and go...i used to feel it frequently last time..but i dun do prozac like sum might have done it...i jes let the feeling conquere myself. i'm not depress, am i? and i keep on listening to those damn melancholy songs. i can't help it.

at times i jes wanna sleep. i used to sleep for a long time and had this wonderful dreams...and when i woke up..the wonderful dreams gone...then, i try to get my head on my pillow and try to close my eyes as tightly as i can but the sounds from the outside world wouldn't allow me. when night came, i turn of the light and i try to hum a beautiful melody which god-knows-where it came from...and i did sleep...and i dreamt about that wonderful dreams again...

i dunno..maybe it's jes me. my body is tired and my feeling is bruising from watever it had to confront before. i'm clueless and i need times and i want to find things in my life...i jes need times...i dun wanna feel sad...i wanna be happy like you.

i want what i want.

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