Tuesday, April 13, 2004

i dun know wat drags me to do wat i did just now....finally i called him up..yeah...i did...and up till now, i cudn't believe it....
he said yeah we can be frens..and i said cool..and we messaging each other afterward..it's not that bad actually...

it's like finally guys...i said i wanted to be frens wit him and now i got it.
i'm the happiest girl at the moment...

Monday, April 12, 2004

so....i'm 21...
too bad that i dun feel well on that day but i still went out to celebrate it anyway.
it's weird that when i was at home, i got lots of this shit on my mind that i wanna say out loud here but now when i'm in front of this pc, those things gone...and now i'm lost wit words.
i swear that i wanna tell sum thing to u guys...

anyways, i am still searching for jobs...esp if they are in the writing field...i sent in my resume to the star but no replies watsoever...and there's a job for news presenter at ntv7 and i thought of applying for that but thinkin back that the place is like so far away from kl and that mama might not let me drive there alone, i hold again my dream.
besides, i dun think i'm in the right place and at the right time and at the right age....i'm still young and those news presenters are like in their late 20's or maybe 30 and above...

i've talked to dikna and she told me a bit or two bout this guy that i like.
the digit that i had is his.....and i know his other nick name..and i know his full name....gosh, so i sound like a stalker sumtime? n i hav this massive idea that i wud call him up and tell him that i wanna be fren but when i think it back alone, that might sound a bit scary...i dunno....arrrghhhhh...this is hard...when does being fren is hard?? tell me....i remember back in kindergarten, it was so easy making frens....and now it's like hell, esp if that person u wanna be fren wit is in the opposite sex.

anyways, being 21 is not that bad...i still can get up late from bed on weekends and i still can tease my little bro...and i still can be lazy at cooking and i jes still can do stuff that i did before i turned 21.
that's cool!

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

last nite i had a high fever..i was shaking and it was really cold..i had to put on a sweater and 2 sheets of blanket...woke up at 11 and i swallowed 2 panadols...awake again at 2 in the morning...couldn't sleep bkoz my body was really panas i tell ya..then sleep again, and woke up again at 3.15 till 3.30...i swallowed sum more panadols...dunno how many were there...i just had to go to sleep and i did.
woke up again at 6 sumthin and i found myself sweating...like i just took a shower or sumthin..but the fever gone.still, i felt a bit dizzy..and now i feel like the fever gonna attack me sum more.

was plan to donate my blood at SAB this monin but the fever pull me off, plus, mi mama and mi hermano asked me not to..sayin things that scares me...sayin dat the needle is not clean..yadda..yadda..bla bla bla...and shit.
so, i decided not to..wat a cowerd!

still goin to the office, had to finish up the report...maybe until tomorrow.
not planning anything yet...i just want to see wat faith will bring me...malas sum more!

the kids at college are havin a blastful semester break..2 months break!!
feel a bit solemn bkoz that is how long i'm not gonna be able to see that dude who steal my heart away.sumtimes, when i think bout it sum more, i found myself in a place called the "pathetic zone"..i am so pathetic that i oso found myself as imbecile as i could think of.

i feel a bit chilly rite now..maybe the fever is haunting me again.

Friday, April 02, 2004

so, watever comes tomorrow, i think i could go through it.
today is my last day here..in the office..been spending my 4 months time here..practical, the system, the work, bernama...jab penerangan malaysia...frens..miss them..

my lecturers just came for the presentation.
it was like hell, wit en.rahiwan around..i mean i dun mind if he WANTED TO TAG ALONG (how pathetic is that sound), but wat's wit the attitude?? pardon me..
watever bull-shit they were yapping about this mornin, i know that we have do the best to get here today..for the presentation. although most of the work was done by reza, but we did our part..shits and stuff. i hope that count. of course it counts...rite?

ira called this mornin...we were just yappin and yappin and yappin bout ol' times..kak intan gonna be married to her fiance' this sunday. and ira told me dat she might not goin bkoz she has to baby-sit her baby cuz, bkoz her auntie was too lazy to do so..but she got paid for it lah...
we talk bout her practical work, last time, at angkasapuri and the old staff there didn't really take this new generation
ideas...they said they wanna stick the idea to kebudayaan and shit..no wonder rtm is so lame, like "hell-o!", "wake up and smell the coffee!!!"
so, she said she dun wanna work as a graphic designer...too bad..i wish i have a diploma in it so dat i could start my work as a graphic designer soon. all this while i thought she enjoyed studyin in that field...she's an excellent artist i tell ya..her drawings are gud.
we talked about an hour or so...glad that she called...i jes miss her i guess.

*my only luv sprung from my only hate, too early seen unknown and known too late*