Monday, April 18, 2005

So,I dunno where to start…maybe in the middle or at the beginning, or perhaps I would just write about the ending of it. I have like asking myself so many times, was he the one and the answer that I got is no. He’s not the one. Suddenly, we’re just decided that I’m too young for him and he’s too old for me and that I still wanna do stuff in my life with dreams to catch and he, on the other hand wanna settled down and be a family man...I’m not disappointed of it, but it would be a lie if I tell you that I didn’t feel anything from it, I do feel something that I couldn’t explain. And, it would be a lie if I deny the cloud nine feeling I had before. There was something between us that sparkled so bright, I knew it and he knew it too.
“It’s not gonna happen”, Nanim said once. And she’s right.
Me and Ben just realized that.

I’m not gonna complain or anything.
It would be good this way, at least I got to know him…he’s great, fun to be with, annoying, funny, full of surprise and cool.
So, that’s that.
Everything is clear, no more confusing action or words…huhuuhh…no more confusing feeling…I just wanna smile to the world because when I smile, I know that I’m okay.

Songi doro

Sunday, April 10, 2005

It was 8th April last Friday meaning now I’m already 22 years old. A year older, and a year wiser….hmmm
3 years of being a young adult, this was the greatest birthday celebration ever!! As early as 6.15am that day, I woke up from bed, thanking Allah for everything I had today. I walked into the office at 9.30am, when aj saw me and wish me birthday, then cma saw me and hugged me and wished me and kak maziah do the same and all of the sudden the whole office were wishing me happy birthday and hugged me and kissed me. Then kak sue gave me a present, it was from sam, mama, kak sue and abang cy. They gave me a pink purse and pink small bag. After that, kak noni and kak maziah gave me their present, it was in a pale pink box and as I opened the box, my jaw dropped! A pink watch!! Then, zaid gave me his present, it was in a small blue paperbag, I took out whatever it was inside and it was a pink tudung, so thoughtful of him. Then, aj gave me hers, she gave me this handmade stuff. And abang zam was the last person to give me the birthday gift, he said we had to wait for ben but the guys don’t want to wait so he gave me the present anyways. It was in a MNG paperbag…he gave me the pink MNG handbag I always wanted. So, I thanked them one by one…that evening I bought them some kuih muih like we always had every Friday and I really wanted to buy them a birthday cake too but cma insisted that I shouldn’t have to. Later that evening, as we were ready to go home, they come up to me, holding a birthday cake and sing me birthday song. We took pictures and all. I had really great fun that day. Cma was the mastermind behind all of these, on Monday early that week, I didn’t come to office, so, she had told everyone that, that Friday was my birthday and gives me something pink! They shared to buy me the cake…wasn’t it something awwwww
The MNG handbag, I actually told cma to tell abang zam to give me that! Hahahhaha…well, if not, he’s gonna get me a von dutch bag which I really don’t care about the brand. For me, von dutch is slightly a higher brand than converse, school kids wear them but not a young adult like me.puuhlease….but abang zam was kind enough to buy me the MNG handbag, it cost him 65 bucks ya’know.
That night the celebration continues with family members, pak andak blanja us dinner at Pelita…it was us, auntie rozie, the girls, maksu, uncle yue and tia, maktam, acik syed, auntie saibana and little pia. The girls gave me presents…so, thoughtful of them. I opened the presents after we cut the cake, wahyu gave me a set of fragrance candle and syakira gave me a candle burner holder.
The celebration wasn’t just that, the next day, me and my friends went to karaoke. I had invited quite many people but too bad that they had engaged with other things or maybe some of them were too shy to attend a birthday party and mix with others, let alone it was held at a karaoke club!…and so I thought. Anyways, only half could make it and so be it! It was my birthday party and I wanna sing out loud. Hihiihii…we had KFC and I really like the curry chicken…sedap….and another birthday cake…I sang siti sarah’s jangan kau bermimpi, jewel’s you were meant for me, lisa loeb’s stay and etcetera. At the end of the day, abby gave me her present, it was a Body Shop Moonflower shower cream and lyd gave me a photo album…abang zam was generous enough to send me, aj and lyd home, well, I offered him the kfc leftovers before that…hihihihi…we sent aj home first and suddenly zaid wanna blanja us at, we went to pandan jaya and had our dinner.
We talked and ate and laughed and yelling…hahhaha….
So, for my 22nd birthday, I had three birthday cakes, mostly pink birthday gifts and thoughtful and wonderful friends who made me feel welcome and special. Cma asked me what I want for my birthday and I said I wanna the Virgin Suicides novel and she bought me that book yesterday.
I had a blast!


Sunday, April 03, 2005

Anyways, yesterday I had lunch at Kak noni’s…she invited me and cma only but the guys menyibuk also…so, yesterday I had spent the day off with kak noni, autie maria, abang ben, abang zam, zaid and cma, it was fun…kak noni cooked sayur, ikan goreng, sambal sotong and masak lemak ikan masin…yum yum…uh, btw, kak noni is my supervisor at the office…she’s nice.
I met auntie maria, kak noni’s friend.
I really like auntie maria...after we ate, we had this talked on things and she really speaks her minds out…I could just go on sitting there beside her, without blinking my eyes by the way she talks…and at the end of it, I asked her things and she talked some sense in me…she reminds me of miss daisy, my English teacher when I was in high school…